MOUSTACHE HALL OF FAME: the soulful, bible-quoting gangster tache

 

The path of the righteous moustache is beset on all sides by the ridicule of women and the jealousy of bare-faced men. Blessed is he who, in the name of tache solidarity, shepherds the bristled through the valley of darkness, for he his truly is mo-bro’s keeper and the saver of cancerous testicles.

And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my mo-bros. And you will know my name is Tom Selleck when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

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